Do you know that moment, when you are forcing yourself to do something you do not want to do, but you know it is for the best. This is me right now. It is like I have this restriction in me, this thought that I am not good enough that, there is always something I am not doing well. Always something.
In reality, I do not feel like writing this today so , no matter how much I want to stay true to my commitment to countdown all the days with a blog post, I feel like I am going to fail, like I will give up. It is like when you are writing a story or reading a book, the easy thing is always to start, the hard part now is having the patience, as well as determined to finish. Because the journey from the beginning to the end, is what truly counts. And what will give you satisfaction is succeeding, in the end, and that way you are changing your life without even understanding that. Simply because you have managed to make it to the end. And to see what lies there, waiting for you there.
Food for thought, the name of this post was something I thought of yesterday. I feel a bit dry. Do you know like in the very hot summer days, when the soil is completely water free because of the draught. that is how I feel right nor. It is like thought in my head are with holding me for being true to what I want. And it is like the more I grow up the more I seek perfection. It is weird it really is, today I felt something deep down, in an abysmal place inside of me when I did not write well in my Ancient Greek test. Never before had I cared for this class. It is my torture class. I really dislike it, I think it offers me nothing and honestly the things we are taught do offer me nothing. If the class talked about philosphy in ancient greece or the arts, or the sciences it would be interesting but in reality the way that class is taught is simply boring and unattractive. I don’t really care about how you say all the tenses of είμι it is really something useless. Their excuse is that it helps us speak modern Greek better but I don’t even plan to live in Greece when I grow up. It is frustrating. But for the first time I cared. I felt something, something that might had just been dissatisfaction, with myself that is. I am to hard on my self, like a very special person in my life (my teacher) told me, and I am because I have to be, I have to learn to push myself, I have to do better.
6th of December it is and I am wishing you had a great day, waiting for Christmas.