Okay hello to everyone and Merry Christmas. Now since it is Christmas I do not truly have a lot of time to write this blog, so I am going to insert an entrance from my Shaytember Diary, now if you do not know what Shaytember is go check out Shayloss, Shaycarl and Shaytards. Basically Shay had us all have three goals so one of mine was to write every single day through September this is my blog entry from one of the days, and I hope you enjoy reading it. You will notice I wrote a lot that day so you have a lot to read. Also this blog was not meant to be read by anyone, so some opinions and ideas might be personal and might not be accepted, I am really sorry about that (if it exists).
Day 4 Shayloss September 4, 2012 11:22
So far so good. On 6 days I will go and meet my teachers for the year, I hope they are nice. I would love it if I have the same Physics teacher as last year. But I hope I do not have the same teacher in Chemistry. Other than that I have no idea what my teachers will be like, but I do sincerely hope that they are good, and that I will have a good math teacher that is essential. My life is good other than that, I saw my dad again (I had not seen him in about 1 and a half month) and I am doing pretty good with staying true to the Shayloss. I feel much happier than I used to. Now what I am about to tell you is a secret. I stopped taking my pills (the ones I take so that I can be better emotionally) I am trying to work on myself more and not rely on pills to make me feel better. I am happy to be me, and thank god I am me because if I was any different I would be really mad at myself. I do not really have much to talk about. How about we talk about betrayal (it was a chapter in my book). I find it really interesting that at the end of the day the ones that will probably turn their back on you while you are trying to help them is not the ones that have long before claimed not to believe in the same things as you, or that have turn their back on you, on the contrary it is those once that you thought were more sincere to the cause, that you thought were truly your friends. True friendship in my opinion might be even harder to find than it is to find your soulmate. And truly it is much more important to find true friends that will stand by you till the end than finding a lover. Now if you can find a lover that will also be your friend, then you are lucky. But you must be careful not to get caught up to everything you wish your relationship to be you must always see it as what it is, nothing more and nothing less. Interesting field is it not, relationships I mean. And I am not talking only about the ones between a female and a male, I am also referring to all the other relationships in one’s life. For instant the relationship between the child and the parent, that is a very close relationship. Usually in that type of a relationship love is mandatory (by the rules of nature) and of course respect that should be genuine and should derive from a deeper understanding of the things you gain from that other person. That being said so as to clarify that not only should the child respect the parent but the parent should respect the child as well (something that is not very often found in today’s society, since the youngsters are mostly thought as not intellectually developed yet, and also it is thought by the elders that they have no knowledge as to what life truly is). Now this is a part I must talk about this and adopted child. If you are adopted you must know three things. The first is your mother loved you and I know what you are thinking she gave me away she definitely does not love. But think about it this way, because believe me there is a great amount of reason she might have given you away (some of which you might not like)
a) She might have died, and you had no other family member that could take you in.
b) She might not have not been able to support you not only economically but also emotionally
c) She might have wished you’d have a better life that the one she could provide for you
d) She might have thought that she was still young and did not want a baby in her life just yet.
And I know most of those reason are not important enough for you, but none of them cancels the fact she loved you. Whether she liked it or not you and her have a bond you were inside of her, she felt you growing. She loved you. But all this things do not make her your true mum. Your true mum is the one that tells you “everything is going to be ok”, that reads you bed time stories that takes care of you when you are ill. So please do me a favour and remember this you are never to old to love your mother, you are never to old to hug her or let her give you a kiss goodnight. ( I made that mistake I thought I was too old, I regret it.)
So I would also like to talk about relationship between a man and a woman. Now I am a little to young to have had experiences in that kind of a relationship but I do have an opinion about some things. I will list them here, I do not know if I will analyze but here it is:
a) Everyone starts having relationships with the opposite sex on their own time
b) If a man or a woman cheats on their companion it is probably both their fault (they are not alone in the relationship)
c) you have a choice to who you want to be with (same or opposite sex)
Okay so the time one starts let’s call it mating, is completely their own. It is only normal everyone has their own time, and there are examples on that all around
for example: the time of season elephants mate is different that the one other animals do
It is normal so just embrace and when it’s time you will know, this is one of those things you should not press out of you, it should come naturally.
Now about the second point I don’t have much to say it is pretty self explanatory. If you do not understand it then look inside you and say. If I was the best I could be in this relationship, and if I did give it my all then why would she go with someone else. Now because we do not live in a perfect world I must say if the reasons are this two:
a) She wanted more that I could give her (this requires you were giving it your all)
b) She wanted money
Then my friend you should have dumped her long ago she was not worth your time, so don’t go fighting for someone that is clearly not in their right state of mind, and that does not mean give up. It means sit down and talk with that person find their reason (behind the action) and explain to them calmly why it hurt you and that you wish they had not done it. Then remove yourself from that relationship. Now if your boyfriend/girlfriend comes and is sincerely sorry then try establishing a new relationship with them, not an intimate one but a friendship one, if it is meant to be you will both soon know. Now if the reasons your partner cheated on you is one of the following then you are equally at fault.
a) you did not spend enough time with them
b) you did not communicate
you are equally at fault because you were not giving it your best.
I am getting tired so I think I’ll go to bed in that little fantasy world we talked about in my previous day-log. I wish you find this helpful. maybe I ‘ll talk books next time I do not know. I only know this live today as you want to live. It is you day your present and that present is an empty box once you unwrap it. It is not because your life is empty it is only because it is your life and you are allowed to fill that box with anything you want, so just do whatever pleases you but not something that would hurt everyone around you because this is the case they have equal right to live as they want to as you do.
Goodnight, by the way have you noticed I always write at night, just thought I’d mention it. And remember I love you as much as you love yourself. I can’t love you if you do not love yourself.